The Circus has travelled on

I am out of the circus arena again. Now I remember why I jumped off the carousel last time. But this time it was not the elephant in the room’s fault. Not all the fantasy animals the architect brought with him either. Nor was it the fault of the economic line dancers, the jugglers, the trick riders or even the ringmaster. It was the clown. I always found clowns twofaced and not trustworthy. Life is too short to work for a clown.

So I left the circus one more time and wonder which path I should choose this time.

I read the blog of Hannes van Eeden, also known as the Wandering Ambivert. He talks about choosing the uncomfortable path “seeking discomfort”. This did not make much sense to me initially. I would never try to choose the uncomfortable trail if there was one that was better to walk. But the point is to do things you want to do but are too afraid to do. And therein lies a choice. We are raised to seek security. Permanent job, own our home, own a car, a cottage, own, own, own. But is this freedom? Or are we numbed by all the safe choices and protection we surround ourselves with?

Henry Ford was tired of having a workforce consisting of freelancers who only took jobs when they needed money. He wanted permanent employees to come to work at fixed times, work steadily and go home when the working day was over. So, he came up with the solution; let all the workers get a car in installments. Then they had to have a permanent job to pay the installments every month. And they did so in exchange for their freedom. And the vast majority of us still organise our lifes like that.

So how about seeking the slightly uncomfortable in exchange for freedom? I got a taste of the slightly free artist life combined with some fun paying projects the last time I was out of the carousel. In the horizon I see right now I will sail, write, sing as if no one is listening and dance as if no one is watching.

I will probably find small pieces of sawdust in my shoes the next couple of days and possible weeks, but only time will show how long I last outside the circus manège this time.

_{Photo: Christina Czybik}